Where does one even begin to start after you cram life-changing event after life-changing event into a period of 6 months? Needless to say, I’ve let this blog fall to the wayside as we’ve been trying to adapt to all the new changes. The past year has been filled with its fair share of challenges but more blessings than we could have possibly hoped for. Here’s a brief glimpse into the past 9 months.
The Wedding.
Brett and I sent out about 120 invitations for our family and friends to join us in the Utah boondocks for our wedding ceremony in Zion National Park. When we found out that almost 100 people were coming, we said to each other, “Wow, people really like us!” Once we arrived in Zion, we reevaluated and conceded that perhaps it was actually Zion that drew them in. By the end of May, not only did I get to marry my soul mate, but we were joined in one of the most unique places on earth by an unexpected number of dear family and friends. It was one of the happiest days of my life which could only have been made better had my mother been there as well. A big thanks to people who made it possible: our parents who helped with the financing, coordination, logistics, and everything in between; our minister, Erik, who did such an incredible job of performing a wedding ceremony that really reflected us as a couple; our large and in charge wedding party, who helped us keep sane, throw the house together, and made sure we looked our best for the day; our official photographer, Jeremy who took gorgeous photographs of it all; our caterer and his outstanding team who knocked everyone’s socks off with all of our favorite foods not to mention coming though with an actual BUCKET of guacamole, of which I probably ate a fourth; all of our dear friends and family who took vacation days, flew planes, rented cars, and just made an effort to come be with us on our day. Really, it was one of the best days EVER.
Photos of the wedding can be seen here. I've just started the daunting task of sorting through our gazillions of photos from Zion and the road trip to Austin. I'll be adding to them as I tackle it so there is definitely more to come.
The Road Trip to Austin
We got to explore southern Utah, reconnect with some of my old Peace Corps friends in Arizona, Colorado, and New Mexico, stopping at a myriad of National Parks along the way. Highlights included Bryce Canyon National Park, driving down the Moki Dugway into the Valley of the Gods and Monument Valley, Delores River Festival with Christa and Tom, Mesa Verde National Park, Albuquerque with Kent and Heidi. Not so wonderful was the godawful seemingly gazillion hour long stretch from Albuquerque to Austin. We arrived tired and relieved at my sister’s home in mid-June, sixth month of pregnancy hormones in full force, anxious to finally start nesting.
Starting from Scratch, Again.
Thanks to my sister and her husband’s generosity and hospitality, Brett and I managed to piece together some semblance of a home after 2 months of job-hunting and house hunting. Brett charmed his way through four, count them 1, 2, 3, 4 interviews with Uchiko, the newly opened sister restaurant of the much acclaimed Uchi, a Japanese restaurant in Austin. He endured the most grueling training process I’ve ever witnessed for a service job and it’s certainly paid off. Uchiko is a fantastic restaurant that has gained national acclaim, including one of the Best New Restaurants in America in GQ magazine. Brett has been mentioned several times on opentable.com as being “top notch” and “excellent”… I swear, none of them were written by me.
We were fortunate to find a 2/2 with a screened in patio, a washer/dryer, a gorgeous bay window, ample closet space, and covered parking spots about 1 mile from Uchiko. Being who we are, we’ve managed to fill every nook and cranny with knickknacks, books, baby stuff, and the stray articles of clothing but it’s home and we love it. We have a futon in the guest room/office and we await your visit.
I went a little stir crazy waiting for the baby to come. At 7 months of pregnancy, I didn’t make the most attractive job candidate so I put my energy into volunteer work, translating for American Gateways and Refugee Services of Texas and getting involved in an anti-human trafficking group called the Allies. I’m not good at sitting still.
The Birth
My due date was October 4th. My sister Kate was able to squeeze in a visit to Austin, hoping to see a baby. Her day of departure loomed closer and closer and still, no baby. Then, on Oct 3rd, the day before she was to leave, three sisters, Kate, Kit and myself, went for a walk. We strolled around the neighborhood, peering into vacant homes for rent and it started. I went into contractions. We walked back to the apartment to consult the literature on what’s considered labor. I was most definitely in pre-labor. Pre-labor went into labor and the midwife and doula were called. We had planned a home birth. Kate was going to see a baby after all. I thought how unlikely that any child of mine would arrive early. Unlikely, indeed. Originally, I had planned an intimate and small birth: just Brett and I with our doula and midwives. The birth was not the romanticized, natural, beautiful home birth we had imagined and in reality, having Kate and Kit with us as well was a godsend (a goddess-send?) and I was so fortunate for them to be there with us as well.
Labor was one of the most intense experiences of my life. There was a disheartening amount of vomiting and endless long contractions. What there wasn’t a lot of was dilation. Kit was a fantastic time-keeper, calculating contraction spacing on her fancy iphone. Kate performed Reiki which really did calm and sooth my body. Kit and Brett took turns squeezing my hips and applying an intense amount of pressure on my lower back to help with the contractions (no one else seemed able to apply enough pressure). Kate kept running off to get me coconut water (the only thing I could stomach) and, when we found out our tub doesn’t hold water, a wide array of tub plugs so that I could actually stay submerged in the tub. My midwife, April and her apprentice, Jayme were competent and calm and had me try so many different things to help the labor process. Katie was supportive and positive. They all reminded me to breath and focus my breath through the pain when it seemed unbearable. We tried different positions to reposition the baby as well as walking up and down the stairs, 2 at a time. April tried to make sure I was hydrated and energized despite my body’s attempt to purge me of everything ingested. There were feeble attempts at “sleep”.
After about 40 hours, my heart sank a little after she checked me only to find me 5 cms dilated. I had gone through 2 entire nights of labor. It was early in the morning and we agreed that the hospital was a good idea. She was able to transfer me to an exceptional OB, known for her respect for midwifery and her conservative use of intervention. At the hospital, I was given an epidural, the first pain medication I received during the entire labor. It allowed my body to relax and for me to sleep for a much needed 7 hours. When breaking my water hadn’t progressed the labor, I was administered a minimal amount of Pitocin. I awoke to muted contractions and was soon told it was time to push. Surrounded by a birthing entourage of Brett, Kit, Kate, April, Jayme, and Katie not to mention the nurse and the OB in the birthing room and with my dad and step-mom in the waiting area, the rest of the birth went smoothly. April got hold of sheet and tied a knot at the end for me to pull during contractions. The sheet helped me to focus my energy down into the fuzzy hazy abyss created by the epidural. I was able to push out Cetta in what seemed like no time at all, an amazing reward for what ended up being a 50 hour ordeal. She was worth every second.
While the birth wasn’t at all what we had planned or expected, I savor every single part of it and have not a single regret. I learned so much about myself, my sisters, and my husband. It truly was the most amazing experience of my life. The forty hours of labor at home feels like a rite of passage into motherhood, preparing me for the inevitable ups and downs sure to come.
First Comes Love, Then Comes Marriage, Then Comes Cetta in a Moby Wrap
Brett’s mom booked it down to Austin once she got wind of the hospital transfer. Once we returned home from the hospital, man, am I glad she did. The first week with Cetta home was not a smooth transition. This was because, much like I had feared at the hospital, something wasn’t right with breastfeeding. I had received help at the hospital and while we got her to latch on a few times, we just couldn’t get her to stay awake through feedings. Cetta got skinnier and more lethargic and I went into panic mode. It’s a scary place to realize that you could love something so deeply only to watch her fail to thrive. On April’s advice we got some formula and Cetta gulped it down. My milk came in that night and I started pumping. I got in right away with the lactation consultants only to discover that Cetta wasn’t getting anything at all during our “feedings”. The poor girl couldn’t suck. Mouth size? Coordination? Whatever it was, it took 5 weeks of a special hell called “triple feeding” to work it out. Sharen was invaluable the week that she was here, making sure I was fed, helping with housework, helping us to get rest, and accompanying me to appointments. My mother’s absence was painfully felt during that time but lucky me that I had such a wonderful, supportive new mom to help me through it.
Triple feeding involves (1) trying to get the baby to breastfeed, then (2) giving the baby expressed milk or formula to supplement feeding, and then (3) pumping to have milk to feed the baby for the next feeding. But it’s not like you just feed the baby and have all this time on your hands… there’s burping the baby, and comforting the baby, and changing the baby’s diaper. So needless to say, by the time you get to step 3, its time for step 1 again. This means little sleep and little respite for Mama. It was a tear-filled, exhausting, heart-wrenching month. Brett’s dad and step-mom came for a week and helped out. Tita Kit was great, coming almost every day to hold Cetta while I took a shower or washed some dishes. I know that out of concern and love for me, some people encouraged me to just use formula, but I was determined. Then, magically, around week 5 or 6, something just clicked. I put her on and it just felt right. We booked an appointment the next day with the lactation consultants and lo and behold! She gained weight after a feeding! Besides birth, it was one of the greatest triumphs of my life. Who knew that something that’s supposed to be so “natural” would be such an ordeal. Once we had breastfeeding down, life got instantly easier and it’s been a walk in the park since.
“We Get By With A Little Help From Our Friends”
I hardly cooked at all thanks to the meals delivered to us by friends, mom’s groups, and Brett coworkers. By the end of the second month, we were breastfeeding like champs, managing to shower regularly, and getting this “life with baby” thing figured out. Life is starting to take on a discernible rhythm and feel manageable. I’ve started working part time teaching English to adults two nights a week and Spanish to children two afternoons a week, occasionally helping out a friend with her in-home child development program when she needs it. I’m lucky in that I can take Cetta with me to the preschools and have 2 wonderful babysitters, Tita Kit and her friend Callie, for the evening classes. I feel like we’ve finally created a home and gotten into a grove and will soon have to uproot and do it again in Massachusetts come July. But I’m trying to walk the fine line of preparing in advance and not getting ahead of myself. One day at a time. Now that things have calmed down, I’ll be trying to update the blog more often. We can’t thank family and friends enough for the emotional support, advice, gifts, and visits. It’s meant the world (and our sanity) to us. We haven’t been as good about corresponding (other than facebook) as we’d have liked to be but it’s not because you all haven’t been in our thoughts. The last 9 months have been incredible, challenging, and transforming. Thanks for your help.
And Then There Were Three
Life as a mostly stay-at-home mom (a role I'd never anticipated for myself) is getting easier and easier (although I still make a crummy housewife). Cetta’s personality is really starting to show. She’s always been an easy going, happy baby but our rewards get greater and greater each day. Working nights, Brett gets to see so much of her development being that he gets to spend many of her awake hours at home with her. If you’d asked me on New Years 2010 what I would be doing on New Years 2011, never in a million years would I have placed myself In Austin, pacing my glasses of wine while swaying back and forth with a baby wrapped up tight against me while my husband was working nights at some swanky restaurant. But here we are. No regrets. Life continues to be one hell of a ride. It just comes with a whole lot more cooing, jingling, spitting, rocking and diaper changing now. It’s unpredictably awesome.
